ORAL MASTER CLASS?

0:30 Man, I can hear us breathing. Well, that's good then. Yeah, no, that's really good. All right. You can hear everything. Everything. I was going to say, we were wondering what we were going to talk about today because we hadn't really come up with anything in our minds. And it's kind of like, well, and I knew something would come up at the last moment because it always does. So I just said, dear universe, you know, bring us an idea or something. And so I went downstairs because we had an Amazon delivery. You had to pick up a package. Yes. And as I was down there, our downstairs neighbor, Esme, she was waiting with her son, Anthony, because they had an appointment at the hospital. You know, Anthony.

1:27 He's the special needs son that she has. Yeah, he's invalid. So she was waiting for the ride, and I decided to sit there on the stairs and have a conversation with her just to help her pass the time. Because, poor thing, I mean, she does a lot of waiting. Waiting in waiting rooms, waiting for the bus to get there to pick up her son. All sorts of stuff. Appointments. Lots of appointments. So, I was telling her, you know, what we had done today and everything, and, um. I said, later on, we're hoping to shoot a podcast. That's right. And she said, oh, okay, cool. She says in Spanish, what is the podcast going to be about? De que se trata. De que se trata.

2:15 And I thought, that's the universe saying, what are you going to talk about? Come up with something. Figure something out. And it actually crystallized in an actual voice actually asking me the question, what is the podcast going to be about? So I realized, and I didn't want to appear like a fool, and I kind of got a little nervous, and I started fumbling around, thinking of just say something, fool. Just say, you know. So I said to her in Spanish, vamos a hablar de cosas orales, which is we're going to speak of oral. Of course. And I meant oral sex, which we're going to try not to use the actual words. Yeah. We're going to use words like lollipop or popsicle and things like that.

2:59 We don't want to be too grotesque, but we do have some things to talk about, and—. So, if there's any kiddie-witties, go away. Yeah. This is for adults only. This is adults only, yeah. 18 plus. And think about it. Two old people talking to you about oral. I mean, first of all, it's two old sluts. Yeah, I mean, look how we're dressed. That's like a library of information right there. Combined, this would be like a huge library. This would be an archive of information about that subject. Master. Masterclass. Masterclass for you. So sit down and prepare. And no, seriously, it's not going to be a masterclass. We're not that good.

3:45 It's just not. I could, right off the bat, what keeps coming to my mind. No, I'm kidding. I know, right? Is the mastery of the gag reflex. The mastery of the gag reflex is crucial. It's a huge issue, especially in the world of oral. And, I mean, like how large? Like if you had to like say how large, how large can you take something before you start to gag? Right? It can be long, but if it's really girthy, then it's like. And I never mastered that. I'm sorry. I never did. You know.

4:28 I never did. I recall when I was younger, they used to show these exercises for the face, and I realized that the exercises also helped a great deal in developing muscles that are needed for oral. And the exercises simply, you start by saying the letter O as wide as you can, and while you're holding that letter O as wide as you can, you try to say the letter A. So it's O-G-A-V. Okay, I'm on a gag now. And, yeah, that helps you build muscle development. It does. Okay. So, I don't know. I would say— What's the biggest— This is the thing I have come to realize. Yeah. No pun intended.

5:23 It's the desire that dictates your gag reflex. There are people that can control it and have that ability and stuff like that. But what really helps in those situations is the desire. Do you really want that popsicle down your throat? Because if you don't like the person who brought the popsicle, the person with the popsicle, if you're not totally digging it, you might psychologically not be able to go there. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's oral. You have to relax. Yeah. It's weird. It's a weird sensation.

6:06 It's almost like, I mean, it's the opposite of swallowing. So you actually don't want to swallow. You want to feel as though you're regurgitating. And that opens up your throat and allows it to slide in and go in really far. Yeah. So you actually are, but you're not actually regurgitating. I'm using that word a lot, actually. Yeah. But you're not regurgitating. You're not puking. Right. You're evoking that action without the end result. So it causes it to open up. And then there's the issue of how long can you keep that open while the popsicle is being shoved into your mouth and then pulled out of your mouth and then shoved into your mouth.

6:55 How long can you keep that? For some people, it's quite a long time. And for other people, it's one or two times and then stop. And we'll come back to it later after I have a moment to regroup. Yeah, I do know. I do know. And that was always very difficult for me. Yes. I can never take the whole popsicle. Right. You know? And it does, I mean, it seems to be a very important subject in our culture. Almost forbidden, don't you think? Oh, that too, yes. But also important.

7:37 Oh, extreme. I mean. In secrecy, there are a lot of men that desperately seek an oral performance upon them in secrecy. And some of them quite openly. But it's important. It is important. You've seen it. It's important. It's like, wow. Yeah, I host it. Oh, I mean, not directly. Not now. Anyway, back in the past. I was the host at the most. Yeah, but I think in the straight world, it's a different reality because, I mean, they'll go to the gay world, the men will go to the gay world to get.

8:24 To get that, because the women, we're not as ready. Stronger neck muscles. Yeah, but we're not as ready to. Can go there for 20 minutes. Yeah, to take that popsicle. That's what my classified ad would say. But in the straight world also, I'm sorry and I mean no offense whatsoever. But. But straight men are not as hygienic, shall we say. That's true. wash your cola. That and your popsicle. And your popsicle. But listen, you guys, anything that's left at the musty back door creates odors that sweep up and surround the entire pelvic area.

9:11 So you may have washed the danglers, but unless you washed the entrance in the back door, oh, those, dingo, I meant the dangle is like the scrotum sack. Yeah, the scrotum. Washing that is essential, but also the dingleberries. You've got to wash off the dingleberries. Please. You've got to wash off. You've got to wash the rectum, man. That anus entrance, you've got to wash it. Yeah. Because no one wants to put their face down there with that smell. Well, I guess some people do, but those are not the people we represent today. Not into the scat. To each his own. To each his own. Not into the scat. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is a classy show. Come on now. Yeah, that's right. Let's not go there.

10:00 Ladies, we're true ladies. Yes, these are ladies. And gentle, gentle women's. Which is. But I, so I'm, I know a dude and I'm not going to say your name, so don't worry. Who has a large instrument and thoroughly enjoys when the person can take it, down the throat without gagging. Or, no, they can gag, but they just will allow for it to go, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Yeah. Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many times. And he doesn't mind if they regurgitate during the process. He thinks it's hot.

10:43 Like actual puke? Well, yeah. But here's the thing. It's not normally, it's not puke like when you vomit when you walk out of a club drunk. It's not that. What you're vomiting is mucus because your mucus has been building up, I guess. Because I've seen, I haven't seen it, but I've had to clean up after because of the place that we work at. I've had to clean up after this mess. And let me tell you, it's like a cup of solution comes out of them, and it's pure. Like phlegm? Like phlegm. It's slimy. It's ooey-gooey. You cannot clean it just with a mop. You have to use something to break it down.

11:27 Like bleach or something? Sometimes. Sometimes, yeah. I mean, to sterilize, yeah. But soaps, you have to break it up, like with soaps and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you have to do several moppings because it stays stuck to the ground. It doesn't want to let go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it comes off in layers. And it is the grossest thing. I've cleaned up poo-poo. I've cleaned up barf. I've cleaned up urine. And this slimy, phlegmy stuff that people are gagging and then it comes out of their throat, while they're performing oral. It's not cool to me. I mean, listen, it's the rage right now. Seriously, it is. But it's not cool.

12:09 It's a trend. I cannot wait until it passes. Is it because, like, we normally or naturally have phlegm? Take a deep breath. I know, right? You okay? Oh, yeah. No, no, I'm fine. But, yeah, it's like we have phlegm naturally. So if you're doing that, reality— It builds up and builds up and builds up and builds up. It cleans it out. Well, you gag. It builds up and builds up, and it becomes a substance that you're then able to. Eject. Yeah. Because you've triggered that process, but you had nothing to, so now you have something to, and it comes out.

12:54 Okay. Yeah. And it can happen while the lollipop is in there, or it can happen when the lollipop is pulled out. Okay. Either way, when the lollipop exits, there's going to be something booped on the floor. Like, yeah. And it's very tough to clean up. Gross. It really is. It's like slimy. It's gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just gross. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys. Hot water works really well, and it's steam does, too. You guys, I'm telling you, I cannot wait. And it's all the rage right now. To get to do that? For that to happen, there's a large group that are openly saying, it's sexy, it's hot. Yeah, that phlegm thing that happens.

13:42 That gag thing. Oh my God, I feel so bad for you guys. I have to clean it. Clean it. But also, I don't, I don't see the attraction of reaching the point where that's happening. There's nothing sexually gratifying about it for me. I mean, some people could get into it, but the act of is not. No. I don't find that to be attractive. No. Or sexy. No, I can. I can take a mean length, but I have to want to. I have to want to. I have to be in the mood. Show off. In the mood. I have to be in the mood. You know what I mean? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because there's sometimes when... From someone with a 662 area code, Scott Cullum here.

14:22 The Mississippi State race isn't over yet. Oh, my God. Politics. No! Here, I'll turn that off. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Sorry for the interruption there. It was me. I'm so dumb, I forgot to turn my phone off. You turned mine off. I know. Look how I am, but I forgot my... He forgot his own. So, anyways, getting back to that phlegm thing. Yeah. No. Okay. No, that's gross. No, let's not. Yeah. Let's not say we did. Here's another thing. Is it? There's a theory. I'm going to get my water bottle and show. Oh, that's a good idea. So, here's. Always. So.

15:03 There are several ways to go about this oral act. One of them includes the use of the hand. It can be, or it can be like rotating, you know what I mean? Like rotating, or, right, right? It's, or, well, okay. Many people don't like that. and they're usually the same people that like the gag thing. So they prefer for you not to use your hands and will go as far as in order to get you to go along with that as soon as your hand reaches up, they knock it away or they move it away.

15:48 Like, no, don't use your hand. Just your throat. Just your throat. But utilizing your hand is one way for your throat to have a moment to get used to more and more and more of it. You use your hand to slow the process down and to feel like you're in control. By knocking your hand away, what they're saying is you basically have to be like a throat gut or a throat goat. You have to be, they want it open now and you have to be prepared and you should have come prepared for that act to happen quickly. And I feel that that's rude. I think so too. And it's wrong. I vote no. Bad, bad, bad. I concur. But some of you like it.

16:30 Good for you, but not for me. Not for me. There you go. Right. Not for me. All is well. Yeah. No, that, to me, I never liked that. Or, you know, when they put their hand behind your head. Oh, and then force it. And then force it. Yeah, no, I'm just like, no, I'm going to die here. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? I do, I do, I do. No. Or they... Pin your head up against a wall, up against a wall, you know? Yeah, yeah. And then so you have nowhere to move, and they're just ramming it in your— And then you feel like you're going to choke. You guys, you guys, yeah. It's like, te carece, okay? Just te carece.

17:11 Be nice. Be kind. I believe in a gentle process that begins subtly and then gradually increases in intensity, that should last anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 minutes. And one should take their time and build up to the climax. Yeah. That's the way I like to do it. I don't like the rat into your throat, make you barf up, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you're done. And I'm over here with all over the place. It seems like a more like an S&M-y kind of reality. Yeah, well, you know, it's bossy.

17:55 So that might be the connection there. Yeah, I mean, I can see like where when you are performing that when you're performing that, you should and like you said, you should be able to. Reach that ecstasis as the same as the person receiving it. I think it should be the same for both, and it should be as pleasurable. Well, you know, that's why God made 69, you know, so that both people could be doing the oral at the same time. But 69 is so 90s. Yeah, no, and I meant just that normal way.

18:38 Isn't that funny to say, though? 69, so 90. So 90, it is. It is, it is. Sorry, guys. Yeah, and it's really awkward. It just, it fell out of favor. Let's just say that. Yeah, I mean, you can try it. I mean, you know, I'm not, Putting it down or anything? No, no. And always, things are cyclical. It'll make a comeback. Don't you worry. It will. It will. We're going to hold up posters and be like, 69, bring it back. 69, bring it back. Anyway. Right? Right? Oh, so something. Here's something for them to think about. You guys.

19:19 What? What are your thoughts? Do you like it? Forceful? Do you? Can you? Shut off your gag reflex. Do you mind if you regurgitate some of that phlegmy, saliva-y gross, you know, while it's happening? Do you mind that? Do you want to take your time? Take your time. Or do you not want to do it at all? Yeah, that's another option. How deep can they go? Two inches? Four? Six? Should I stop? Seven? Seven and a half? Eight? Are you one of those eight and a half? Nine? Nine and a half? Ten? Eleven. Oh. You know, like the kind that can take it down to. Their, like, it's gone past your throat. Now it's entering another world.

20:04 It's like, wow. It's going into your esophagus and your intestines. Yeah. I mean, there are people that can do that. I've seen it. Well, kudos to you. Yeah. But anyway, that was our talk today. Yes. And now we're going to go to church and wash ourselves in holy water because we have been sinning big time. Oh, yeah. We're big sinners. No, I don't want to make fun of anybody. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by that. Please read the disclaimer at the end of the show. And like and subscribe us and email us. We love everybody. We love you all. Even Catholic people who wash their bodies into holy water. Amen.

20:44 Oral. Think about it. Oral. Maybe this week. Do some moral. Yeah, discuss. Give, receive, like a Christmas present on your knees. A Christmas present you deliver on your knees, unless you're old. Yeah, then you have somebody stand on a chair. But that's a story. That's right. That's last week's episode. That was last week's, yeah. You guys have a great one. Yes, bye. Bye.