MANIC MEDITATION

0:32 That's corny the little music box we've only just begun to live.

1:13 You keep starting early. I'm like, where are you? We're meditating. We're meditating. This is for chilling. Are you ready? Yes. Let's try that again because that wasn't fucking chilling. Here we go. Okay. All right. All right. I'm sorry. Let's bring the energy down. This is a meditation form. Hallelujah.

2:01 But if you did it, Rock, wouldn't it be...

3:09 Welcome. Okay, that took a minute. Oh, yeah. Woo-boo! Woo-boo! Woo-boo! Woo-boo! You ever walked into a room and your friends were all stoned and they was chilling like in the apartment you used to live in when you went to college? Or not, but you had like eight roommates and some of them were sleeping on like mattresses on the floor and shit like that. And you'd come in and they had just gotten really stoned and, you know, they found the drums and the bells and some maracas and some chicky chicky. And they were sitting there like jam. Jam sessions. Right.

3:52 We did a lot of those in Flagstaff. Oh, yeah. Well, there was a lot of pot being smoked. Yeah, that's true. Pot and beer. I remember that. Ooh, I, can hear that. Really loud. Oh, is that loud? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. My ears are very... There was always that person. Usually a dude in the corner with something that was just... It was just like... He was just gone on it, you know what I mean? Like... Yeah. And stuck on it.

4:39 Wow, that's irritating. Right? Okay, yeah. What else did we get? Oh, chica, chica. Makes me want to talk like this. I Feel like we reverted to five years old. Five years old. What the hell are we doing? We're desperate. But that was fun. We're lost and desperate. Yeah. Well, I know. We're desperate for attention. It's that last burst of energy before we die. We're just going, you know what? Fuck it. Yeah. Why not? We're here.

5:24 We're clear. We're getting used to it. Yeah. Woo. Dang. Amen. Meditating, huh? Meditating. Yeah. That's much needed. Probably do more of that. Remember that crying thing? We have this thing that we do when it gets really, really stressful, where we do like a fake cry, and we just like, it's like a, um. The primal. The primal cry, like, where you just fake cry, and it's weird, because after like 10 or 15 minutes, you feel like, you feel like you've had a really good cry, like you're cleansed, it washes, you just sit there, you just go, ah.

6:36 I feel better already. I'm not done yet. Sorry. Okay. The air is like... Why speak? I don't know. What do you got to say? I mean, seriously. Thirsty. What's it? Thirsty. I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty. That's a metaphor. Right. I love that word, metaphor. Metaphor. Metaphor. Metamorphosis.

7:20 Oh, I, I, I. It's been one of those weeks, huh? Busy, busy, busy. Yeah, really busy, but it's been fun. It's been a lot of fun. People coming over, visiting. Yeah. Started a new opening on the podcast that we're working on. Oh, God. It's going to be kind of cool. I hope it works out. Looking good so far and sounding good, too. So I'm going to focus more on what we know, which is who are the people around your motherfucking ass, your community. In your hood. Seems to be coming up a lot. Yeah. In your hood. In your hood.

8:01 In your neighborhood. In your vecindario. Here are those people in your neighborhood. Your. Barrio. Your village. Your village. Your village. I live in your village. I live in my village. I live in my village. Would you like to see my village? I beg your pardon. It's dirty if you want it to be. Well. What does that mean? What does that mean? I know. What does it mean? It's dirty if you want it to be. That just sounds so nasty. Yeah. It's dirty if you want it to be. It does sound pretty nasty. Nasty.

8:41 Nasty girl. I have made a judgment call. Don't mean a thing. It is nasty. Really not. Nasty girls. But it's fun to call it that. Don't mean a thing. As long as you're playing and you're not serious, don't mean nasty girls. Dance, dance, dance. Don't mean a thing. And also that bad girls. Talking about bad girls. Talking about bad girls. Are you a bad girl? Are you? I was. Are you a bad girl? I was. Oh, my God. Not anymore. I'm Miss Goody Two-Shoes. Yeah, because the knees hurt and, you know, the back isn't doing that great.

9:24 The reason I'm not a bad girl is because I cannot walk in pumps anymore. Yeah, or, you know, lift the legs up real. Or lift them up at all. I can't even kneel down for very long, so forget being the bad girl. Yeah. Now we're little Goody Two-Shoes. I go to a party and I'm standing there and everything, And after like 10 minutes, I'm like, hey, is there somewhere I can sit down? Or else. Or else. Or go to the bathroom. Andale. I got to go pee pee right now. And when I'm at this age, I cannot wait, okay? Because I don't want to pee myself. Oh, and it happens many times. Or else you have to go out wearing your Depends.

10:05 We haven't gotten there yet, but man, it's around the corner. Look and photo. Hopefully not. Maybe they'll sponsor us. That would be cool. That would be cool. Just in case, you know. We could do commercials for Depends. Staying active. Woo-hoo. Loving life. And now I can just stand there and pee myself in public and nobody knows the better. and smile. And it smells nice and fresh. So they say. It's better in the winter because it warms you up. In the summer, it might get uncomfortable because it gets sticky. Oh, and then can you imagine carrying all that hooves? Makes your ass look great. The extra padding makes your ass look great in your favorite pair of jeans.

10:48 Thank you, Depends. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for taking care. Yeah, right? Looking forward to the days when I can finally wear my first Pair of Depends. Yes. Woo! I'm embarrassing, but yes. Woo! It doesn't have to be. I'll get a big J-Lo booty. Oh, and you know what I was thinking about today? What? You know those cheese holes that we get where, like, a word just, like, goes, bing, I'm gone. A lot. Yeah, and then a name, bing, just chooosh. Done. And then you're sitting there going, wow, this is happening. I mean, sometimes you do. Sometimes it happens so frequently.

11:29 I mean, I'm not even paying attention to it that much anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. But then every once in a while, I'm like, be honest, look in the mirror. I mean, the dementia is coming. The dementia is coming. I don't know if it's that bad. Because if you don't know what's going on, are you suffering? Well, it depends on how you get by, you know, on a daily basis in your life. If the nursing home sucks, is it really going to matter if you don't remember? I don't know. I don't know because I haven't been there. I guess at that moment it would. Yeah, but we can imagine. Yeah, I know. We can be creative. Yeah.

12:10 Okay. I place myself and you together. Take my hand. And you together at the retirement home in the future. What do we see? What do we see? I think it would matter at the moment. I think in the long term, you don't remember. So like a dog, you hurt your foot yesterday and today you have to wear a thing to protect it because since you don't know what's going on with it, you're going to hurt it again. Yeah, like they put the cone over the head. Yeah, and then you can't lick your own tingle tingle down there. Yeah, which they do all the time.

12:55 Twinkie licks his ting-ting-ting, ting-ting-ting, ting-ting-ting, ting-ting, ting-ting. Twinkie licks his ting-ting-ting as much as he can, I guess, is frequently. Because Lord knows we can't get down there anymore to lick nothing. I don't know if I ever could. Hey, we mentioned this before. Is it a benefit to be able to take out your teeth when you're going down on someone? Yeah. I would think so. I mean, I don't have a penis. You haven't tried it? Oh, man. You haven't tried it? No. Why not? Because I haven't. Because you have not had a victim yet. Someone to suck their blood. I do not have someone to suck his blood. I don't want to suck their blood, but I used to do it a lot.

13:40 It's a metaphor. I know, I know. Don't be so sensitive. I'm not, I'm not. No, I would be sensitive. I want to be more sensitive. No, you're delicate. More sensitive. But, no, you know what? I'm at the point in my life where I don't really want to do that. You don't want to have sex? I want to have sex, but I don't really want to suck somebody's dick. Oh. Or maybe you just haven't met the right person. Because when I meet the right person, I'm like, oh, yeah, ha, ha, watch that sword open up. You know what I mean? You just can't hip it. But I don't know. I guess that could happen. So you're saying your fire is not so great? Not in a second. You're not stoking the fire in the oven anymore?

14:25 Oh, yeah. Keeping it warm, keeping it ready? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because you got to, you know, because I'm not giving up. I know. I just, you know. I mean. I'm like, it's going to be over soon, so I don't know. Listen, it's sad. You're just enjoying it. No, it's sad. I have to, if I'm going to, say, perform oral on someone, I have to have him get up on a stepping stool so he's at a certain height because mama can't kneel down anymore. Or you can wait and eat, but then getting up is the problem. But it's pretty cool. It's amazing. It's still fun. I mean, it's kind of like being, I don't know, like you can't move anything.

15:05 So you have to make arrangements. I mean, how do people in wheelchairs have sex? Because they're doing it. Yeah, that's true. I guess you just have to make special arrangements to do what you can, as much or as little as you can. Yeah, I mean, there's got to be— But you can still do it. You've got to communicate. Girl, girl, listen. It would be sad to leave this earth without at least knowing if it's true that it is better to give a blowjob without teeth. Because then think about it. Because then you can— I was trying to convince me. Think about it. You can bite down and not hurt them. That's true. They will probably love that. Well, you know, I used to be able to do it with when I had teeth, and I used to, like, bite down ever so gently.

15:53 Okay, I'm getting too personal here. Is there such a thing, though? I mean, haven't I already pushed that wall down? Yeah, that's true. But not for you, because I know you're a delicate flower. I am a very cute flower. And I am as well. I am as well. Just, you know, I've also, I'm a delicate flower who's been deflowered a lot in the past month. A lot, a lot. Not back there. I'm not using back there right now, you guys. It's just too much work, you know. No one's playing on my back porch. You've got to do a lot. It's too much work to keep it clean. It's too much work to prepare the backyard for a party. I'm not that, no, no. The mouth is good. Brush the teeth, cargo, you know, it's good. You've got to get up on a stepladder, though. stepstool, something that elevates you and puts your crotch right at face level. Otherwise, forget it.

16:38 It's too much work. I can't bend down. I can't reach up. But if you do that, if you do that, things can go well. And I'm telling you, there's a piece of furniture I found that's perfect. It's right there in that closet. And you can just bring it out. And when you find someone to just stand him up on that piece of furniture, he'll be at the perfect height. And then, and then, what you do to make it even further exciting is you play porno on this television and have them stand in that corner and watch porno while you're doing it, they will be in heaven forever. I'm sure. Okay. So once they find out you're an old lady that's willing to do that, they don't see old lady anymore. They see fun, sexy partner to have fun with.

17:21 There will be no long term. It's like a dating thing. No. No, I know it's not dating. It's purely sexual. Well, yeah. It's like the way I consider it is like I am the latest and greatest toy. Use me. And, you know, if I find a guy that's— That's interesting. Right? Yeah, definitely. Hell yeah. Listen, it's a mindset thing. I'll do this. I'll do that. I'll do waka, waka, waka. Parts of the machinery are working. Use them. Well, yeah. I mean, you got to use what you got. Yeah. And then you just adjust. You adjust for your limitations. You know? True. They have to take this position. Like you said, if you're in a wheelchair or if you got one leg.

18:04 Put them up on a stepladder, whatever you got to do. Whatever you got to do. To have fun. Oh, yeah. Musical instruments. Okay, this is your commercial break. Excuse me.

19:05 Bye.