Booby Talk with Andrew

0:31 From the same hometown as hillary clinton grew up in the same town yeah wow, yes wow uh and it is not a democratic place either no it wasn't when she was there did you ever support one of those polyester suits no okay, no no the pants they did not catch on there um, and in my family specifically i would say it's a little bit of a combination of the two where sexuality was not discussed at all, but like it wouldn't be unusual for you know someone to be like naked you know like there wasn't like or you know, people using the bathroom at the same time okay there wasn't like um and that wasn't like weird either you weren't like mormon where you had no okay conceal steal everything absolutely not but also we is there's a fair amount of um.

1:24 What I would call like regular white people repression, you know, I don't know. Regular white people repression. Yeah. Okay. I'm feeling a bumper sticker coming on. What is regular white people repression? Well, I'm already trying to, because like, you know, we didn't talk about sex. We didn't get a talk from my parents about sex. Like it kind of, you know, being of the internet generation, it almost didn't even need to happen because we just kind of found all that stuff on our own. You know, I have a single older brother. Mm-hmm so and he started he kind of forged the path yeah well we were googling boobs on the, family computer when i was like three and he was like six so that's like really young right yes but but it's like you have google and you learn what the word boobs is which explains your boob fetish now yes my, he's a boob fetish i mean i'm exaggerating what any little piece of information i get it's like it's terrifying you you're like i'm never going to speak in front of him again because I record everything.

2:23 You could classify me as a boob guy. I would go on the record. I saw your girlfriend. I know you are a boob guy. Yeah. I think that's one of the first things you said. Hi, I'm Andrew and I'm a boob guy. That is absolutely 100% what I said. Yes, you did. No names even. Well, we actually met when we were moving in next door and we were trying to put a couch through a doorway that it wouldn't fit through. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yes. And we had to... Sit there and unscrew everything on the couch take it apart yeah and my friends and my girlfriend was there and I did say I looked you in the eye and I said, My name is Andrew and I am a boob guy. I recall that. I do. I was. I recall. Yes. And I am. I am. Yeah.

3:05 And I don't think I told you at that point that I was into. I'm a homosexuality person. Yeah. Which is probably pretty obvious to most people when they first meet me. They're probably like, no shit, Sherlock. That I figured out instantly. So we got to get back to the vanilla thing. Yes. Okay. So you're vanilla. Yes. All right. and you're discovering boobs on the internet, yes okay um i'm assuming mom is finding like let's say um dry kind of encrusted socks and things like that on all over the place from you and your brother no that would have been like a little no, no not really i feel like uh it was very um clean up the crime scene you know i don't think there was much at least now that i'm aware of i i know there was a point where, i can't remember if it was my bro i think it was my brother confronted me and this is older in childhood but still like elementary school yes childhood um, where my brother was like someone googled um like in the search history i had no concept of search history because i was like six or seven or eight years old, caught well and he was like somebody on the family computer looked up angelina jolie naked or something like who was, who was that knowing it was me it was you oh was you and i was like no i'm like i don't know who did they don't know and he was like well it was either you or dad and i was just like well i guess dad must have you know threw him under the bus yeah.

4:29 Pretty much bam um wow i remember i did not know that you could masturbate and i didn't know that you could climax until i was like 15 okay i thought you're gonna say a much older age for a moment oh no, that would be old in our house I didn't know. So I had never done it. Okay. Wow. And I found out... Because for Christmas, I'm Latino. Have I said that? I'm Latino. So here's the scary part. There were 70 of us together for Christmas at the house. So our neighbors would leave and go back to Minnesota for Christmas and would rent us their house.

5:15 So they were large houses. My parents were successful. so half the boys stayed at one house and the girls stayed at another house wow smart move right yes, and that's when I learned because first we did a sheet with a light behind it and you had to get an erection stand behind the sheet and show everybody your profile with an erection so everybody she could be judged for sure this is what the boys were doing okay and then the next thing was they started masturbating to Penthouse Magazine okay which I didn't know you could do Yeah. And so I was shown by one of my cousins how to masturbate. Okay. So I proceeded to run to a room because I was like, oh, my God, this is pretty incredible. And I went to a room and I started.

6:01 And 15 years old, it was all pent up. Yeah. I'm not even exaggerating. I hit the ceiling. Yeah. And after that, I couldn't leave the monster alone. Yeah. I could not. It was just five times a day. It was, you know, I had it down to a point where I could be watching television with my, I had no shame. I could be watching television with everybody in the living room and I would have a pillow on my lap and I'd be pushing down on the pillow and I would be like, until finally. And yeah, isn't that terrifying? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's just when you, when you don't have access to that, because that's just like the exact age in which.

6:45 You will be experimenting and doing all that stuff anyway, even if you knew about it. Yeah. You know? But you just have, like, this—it's almost like edging for 15 years. Yes. Exactly. And then, you know— You can see edging. The fact that you know that word. It's a totally different light I'm seeing you in now. Totally different. I mean, and here I was. I was going to throw all these terms at you and see if you—like chem sex and— Well, that one I wasn't familiar with. And dirty trumpets or dirty trombones. I used to know what that meant, and I don't remember. It was an urban addiction. So a child of the internet, right? You figure out, you learn a lot of things. Oh, yeah. Sometimes unconsensually. And without the visuals, because YouTube does block.

7:26 Yeah, but there's... There's ways to get around it. Yes. You... So you learned everything. We had magazines. Yeah. And if by chance you found one that someone had thrown away, it was like finding the Holy Grail, and you would raise it up, And there would be a celebration amongst all your friends in the neighborhood around your age. Yeah. And then that magazine would be passed around and passed away. And we would build forts for the purpose of hiding from the parental units and passing the magazines around so everybody could read them and look at them. You guys ever do something? No. No. You see the internet? You missed that ritual. It was a bonding session. Come on. Well, what I'm thinking about is like what, I wonder what humanity...

8:10 Is passing by now that we've like completely blown past because that's existed yeah uh i mean you know before there was printed pornography like i'm sure there's been many iterations of like that kind of thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like those baseball cards yeah back in the 20s or whatever that was with the uh, women of yes you know of the evening and they would be showing their kneecaps and it was like oh, yeah yeah we're missing out on that i don't know it's a different Um, one thing, a part of that has made it more, cause now it's just something you do, you know, with your phone in a very private, uh, place and time and space. Um, yeah.

8:51 And yeah. And also, um, there's that whole idea too of. Because there's such a variety now, and there's so much of it, and it's even with AI now. Yeah, that's really fucked. It's getting way—it just—I think it's distorting the perception, especially for men, because we're visual. Yeah. And once you start creating certain images that are going to set you off, then I think you start to develop a need for a certain level of imagery to set you off. Yeah. And if real life can't meet that need, then it becomes, I'm not going to say more difficult because it depends on the person's physical, you know.

9:31 For sure. But I think it becomes weirder because, and the experience can become weirder because all of a sudden the things that used to get to you don't get to you anymore. You have to do things that are more interesting, you know, that you climb. And before you know it, you're watching women take it up their rear end by a, you know, a mule or a pony. And it's like, you know what I mean? Sorry not to laugh, but yes. But the experience keeps getting more and more dramatic. Yes, yeah. Just to reach a different dopamine level. It's not even necessarily because you're like into it. Right, exactly, exactly. And it's visual. It's different for women because I talk to Madi a lot about this. And she enjoys gay porn because of the beautiful men, not because of necessarily the act or anything like that. She just thinks she loves beautiful men.

10:21 And also, she's worked in the adult industry and in the gay world for her entire life, adult life. So, gay men are pretty much what she knows, you know what I mean? Yeah. But for her, porn is a really good Hallmark movie with a really handsome leading man. That's her porn. That's going to send her into the room to flick her buttons. That's what I say. I'm like, I'll knock on the door. You flicking your buttons again? What the heck is going on in there? But it's totally different for her. Completely different. Such a different thing. That fascinates me. I don't think it's different for women and men. I think it's different for a certain kind of mind. Yes.

11:03 I know some females that are just as, you know. Visual. Visual as we are. Yeah. Well, I would say because I agree. And, like, you know, I teach and stuff. But I'm going to say this potentially publicly. Oh, that's right. You teach. And I'm not even being careful. Sorry about that. No, no. We don't really have to. We also don't know where this is going. And it's going to be restricted with adult content. That's true. That's true. Right. Yeah. Yeah. But I only watch, really, for the most part, like, girl porn, as in, like, porn made for women. Really? Because I find... Like anything that's like actually produced you know just be really fucking stupid sometimes like i don't i don't enjoy like um oh uh and maybe this is you know oh you can take this a certain way but i'd like, uh like eight people orgasming you on the face or something like that or just like the bukkake yes as previously mentioned uh but no more just like like the fakeness of like i like um intimacy, yes right which i feel like is kind of a part of what you're saying like the whole vibe you are a rare breed, i don't know that that rare right on right but i don't i haven't done a study has anybody i don't i don't know probably not probably not um so no the government is probably not going to pay for anything that has to do with sex for a long oh yeah um, but uh but yeah so i just like the you know the intimacy and it's not feeling like,

12:34 stupid because it's not like uh you know porn over acting i mean some people are really into exaggeration and i'm not really right um, and i just think porn made for woman is uh is more interesting more convincing yeah more interesting it's usually just not like objectifying or weird not to sound um, no white knighting at all i know what you mean though i know yeah i can see it i can see it because there's. And there's, there's this, the scenes that are created and the cliche scene, which now seems to dominate those. And by cliched scenes, I mean, where, where the dialogue is really, oh, did you really just say that?

13:17 You know, do you really think it turns someone on to hear that kind of hyper macho weirdism or, or her, her weird, super high pitched screaming, you know, like Japaname screaming. Yeah it was like no no no no no no yeah there's no reality in that it's all and then also what bugs me is when you see them alter their position because you get a better camera angle that way yeah he takes you right out of the of the of the romance of it yeah the thing is and this is kind of tying it back to what you're talking about before about people's perceptions is that, you and i as people who have had sex know that but if you're like a teenager or younger that never has It's like, you don't know.

14:00 That's true. Hey, you don't know that people don't sound like that. You don't know that people don't, like, physically, like, fuck in that position like that. Right. Yeah. And then there's a lot of, like, really, at least for straight porn, a lot of mainstream porn that's marketed as being, like, super aggressive. Yeah. Also. Oh, yeah. Which, obviously, some people are very into that. And I'm not, like, against that or anything. But just the idea that, like, the most popular thing on Pornhub at any given moment is, like. 18 like you know fucked raw like crazy you know the train, like the train of people that yes stuff like that but just like really like being very aggressive um and like was like slapping and stuff and again things that like the actors consented to and it's not like actually portraying anything um.

14:47 Like bad happening but the idea that is putting into the heads of uh people who don't know better or usually children that this is like normal yeah what you do it's like yeah let's let's also let's not pretend like they're not watching because oh yeah you know the internet come on give me a break no we were yeah and they are now probably oh absolutely yeah yeah i mean i have kids i call my grandkids because they're like adopted family yeah you know and i mean 13 years old 12 years old and they've already, and they've told me they already the stuff that they've seen already on the internet and i'm like. Wow because you know oh you mean you mean you're not clicking on no, I'm not 18. Yeah, that is. That's kind of weird. No, and that was the same system when I was that age. And it's like, yeah, of course you're going to lie about that.

15:34 You want to like, do you or do you not want to see, you know. Yeah. Boobs. Yeah. I'm going to click the I want to see boobs button, you know. And then people will come down on the parents and say, hey, you know, what about the parental guidelines or restrictions that you can apply? And I hate to tell you, but there are a lot of parents out there that are not that internet savvy, even in this day and age. Yes. And also, but, you know, I don't even know if that's the best way because it's almost, it almost should be like, not that this country is any better at dealing with like drugs and substance abuse. Yeah. But it should almost be like, the conversation should almost be more like that where it's like, it's going to exist and there will be access to it.

16:15 So it's like better to have conversations about how to deal with it and interact with it rather than like perma banding it or because, you know, I just think about. What that could do to you when you're denied. Because, like, how do you say, like, no porn, but also you're allowed to be, like, yourself and a sexual being? And when you attempt to deny access, that's when you get a driving need. People are going to be like, then I'm really going to try to get to see it. Yes, yeah. You're going to deny the access. You're going to create the reverse situation. And also, I think we should have more of a European, like, Western European attitude about sexuality.

16:59 I mean, they have adult nudity and sometimes even like intercourse on their television shows. And for them, it's no biggie. And for their children to see it, it's no biggie because they think it's part of life and that's how they address it. It's like a human body. Yeah. And they're not— It's not being sexualized. But you're not going to see somebody getting shot in the head or somebody's, you know, neck being slid open with a knife. Which I also saw on the internet at the same age, by the way. Like people dying. For real. Yeah. But, I mean, they started to restrict sexuality in the United States before they did adult violence. Violence was—I remember watching, like, a Chainsaw Massacre kind of show on television.

17:40 No biggie. And it was like, you know, you're nine years old and you're like, whoa. Yeah. That was—I thought—. But, you know, you can't see no boobies. That's not good. Yeah, that's just so weird. Yeah, it's so repressed. Pretty backwards in that way. And, yeah, I was watching all that stuff also. But, like, violence never really got to me in, like, visual media. I mean, I don't like watching people die. You know, like the actual, like, snuff stuff on the Internet. No. Which I feel like. Ooh, yeah. Teenagers, like, there's definitely, like. Ooh. You definitely get. You have some experience with that. I feel like when you're a teenager, from the time I was a teenager until the end of time, as long as the internet exists, there will be at least flirtations with actual death footage on the internet.

18:31 I can tell you as an older person, the first time I saw death as a young person, a friend died, you know, that kind of a thing. Just not even seeing it, but hearing about it and the details of the car accident that took his life. Feeling that's the same for me the entire neighborhood, was traumatized all the kids were traumatized at school because he was a popular kid but it was a big deal you know and as i'm getting older and. Uh and i'm more familiar with more a lot more people that are passing dying yeah in the bucket taken off for sure um it's it's become almost a part of everyday day conversation now and it's kind of like, you know it's coming it's around the corner get used to it here it comes you know and if you can joke about it and be as prepared as you can because it's a coming and but it's still the most horrifying thought approaching because there's so much you want to do you don't want to shut the lights off yet anyway i'm going on another tangent right oh that's okay holy i just watch six feet under so like i think about that stuff all the time right now oh, yeah why do you think about that in general okay so i have a new philosophy Oh, God.

19:43 I do not like to watch programming that puts negative imagery in my brain, like horror or graphic violence. Rape, things like that. I don't like to watch those kinds of things. So I'm really critical of what I watch that way. I believe that it's kind of nutrition. You're feeding the brain. the images and your experiences feed your brain, just like you know when you sit in a class yeah and um and so i'm afraid of feeding it that kind of a diet um and especially with what's all the terrible, feeling the hostile mood sometimes that appears to be happening in other parts of the world because of governing and political situations and, discriminate you know all that kind of stuff it just seems to be really active right now so i'm kind of like creating a bubble of happiness in my world, you know yeah i'm i'm doing i'm doing the ostrich thing where i'm burying my head in the sand yes and i know, it's counterintuitive because right now more than ever we need action but at the same time i'm like.

21:05 I feel like I've been, let down by the people in charge, and I just want their terms to end, and I just want to vote for new people, fresh, younger, people with bright ideas instead of these older crony-like, you know what I mean? So I'm closing it out right now. Well, I think the majority of people agree with you, but I also think the party that you're talking about that has let you down will not listen to you or everybody else. Okay, but here's, I'm going to throw this curveball. Okay. I'm speaking of both parties letting you down.

21:47 Yeah, oh, absolutely. Well, because they have the same interests, you know? Ultimately, the same corporations are donating to the same parties that are, assisting, lobbying for certain policies to help them. Yes, yeah. Regardless of what they actually think or believe, that is why it's been a letdown is because—. I mean, like, I don't see how you could be in either party and not be disappointing, everybody, you know, because shit's pretty bad. It's really bad. But also in terms of, like, what you can do, it's like, I think you can help the immediate people and community around you. Oh, my God. Right? Yes. Which I know you do. Yes.

22:30 That's my way of life. Yeah. So, like, outside of that and then assassinating one or many of these people, there's not really much you can do personally, I don't think. So, um, yeah, look at what happened. You can't even joke about that. I mean, look at what happened. I'm not really, I'm not, I'm not saying, uh, that you or I should personally go out and do that. But like, I don't, I think, I think what's fair to say is that, um, I have experienced personally, a lot of people telling me what you just said. Yeah. And I am surprised and now I'm not surprised. I kind of understand. i don't i totally understand why, so many people are like why hasn't that happened yet yeah i mean there's, it's just so chaotic it happens when it's not chaotic to the best of people why isn't it happening now during the chaos to the worst of people well the the answer is like people have tried and has been highly publicized but then the the bullshit misery machine, just turns it into like a conspiracy and that's on like the left also like most of my friends believe that butler Pennsylvania, you know, where someone tried to kill Trump was, uh, was staged and bullshit.

23:43 And, um, and that one, I understand why people feel like that because of the timing and how they like flip that. And now they don't talk about it. You're not afraid to speak of stuff like that? No, like that, but I don't think, I don't think that was bullshit though. I think that was someone really trying to kill him. And I think the same thing with the white house correspondence dinner thing where that guy ran through the checkpoint. There have been many instances of... Of people trying. Here's my thing. When there was a brief moment in between his presidencies where the Democrats came back, and yet nothing happened to him. He didn't go to jail. Yes. He didn't go to prison. Yes.

24:27 With a grand list of felony charges. Yeah. And that, to me, was the big letdown. Yes. Because it was kind of like, so even if I do donate to your campaign and do get you into office, The bottom line is you're not going to do shit. Absolutely. That is, and they don't understand, they're trying to run on the same exact thing again. And they don't understand that that is how anyone who voted for them feels. Unless like they're very, you know, unless someone's like just as down like, the New York Times rabbit hole as other people are the Fox rabbit hole, you know. Yeah. You know what you're saying is exactly, I feel like the sentiment that. Washington Post. It's all, it's all gone. CNN even has, has, yep.

25:08 I yeah well and then people then people turn to bullshit um like Joe Rogan also you know and uh, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Strange place for news. But we should stay with lighter material and continue talking about masturbation, which is a form of stress relief. Yeah. Which is actually very important. This is the best time to jerk off right now. Stress relief is more needed. Yeah. And then so here's another thing that's going to throw a little curveball. Okay. Speaking of stress relief. So, you know, I work at a sex club. It's an adult sex store with what's called an arcade attached. Okay. So there's like many, like 20, 30, 40 glory holes, right?

25:52 Glory holes, which seem to be extraordinarily popular right now. And I think that's because a lot of people are seeking stress relief. And by people, I mean men. Although I have seen women in a parking lot going down on each other. Okay. Once, and I was, I thought it was two men and it was two women. And I was like, Mazel Tov. All right. Great job. Like, we're not the only hoes out there in the parking lot late at night. And, okay, so my point is this. We've seen a spike in the number of heterosexual men coming in seeking relief, through the glory hole. So they put their peony in the glory hole and someone deals with it.

26:40 And we have heard everything from she's not doing it anymore to she's not doing it well enough to, I don't want to talk about it. And there's and then there's the one that's just like, hell, yeah, they do a better job, these boys at this stuff. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's a very sensitive topic because I think people can't help but try to draw lines or—. Ah, somehow connected with homosexuality. And I don't think it is because these men genuinely love the vajayjay.

27:20 They genuinely love their, their woman's boobies and all that kind of stuff. But, um, they have just reached a point where it's kind of like, will somebody please suck on this now and take care, drain it and let, let my toes curl, everything come out and all that stress. So I can once again have that sensation of like, I am so relaxed right now. Once again, you know what I mean? And it's very carnal. I've seen it with some women, too, coming in, mainly lesbians coming in, where they're helping each other out that way, you know? That's not still a glory hole situation, is it? No. Yeah. No, they go into the private rooms. Yes. That would be very uncomfortable.

28:01 And they're also, yeah, they're a lot noisier than the dudes. And I think it's because the dudes are mostly gay and they're very well behaved. And these are like some rock and roll lesbians coming in that are just like, fuck you. You know, I'm whatever in there with her. And then another big, huge trend is... Uh, FTM's, female to males. Yes. Going through the surgery and becoming, you know, the process has got to be really intense. Yeah. You know, it is. And then coming out and then after all of the therapy and all of the, uh, the, the stuff that they take and testosterone and all, and then the hair growth and then the muscle building.

28:51 Because a lot of them, you know, they lift and they look, some of them look like extraordinarily handsome men. I'm telling you, a lot. And they go into this club because they have come out the other end of that experience as a gay man, which I find fascinating to be a woman going through all of that. And the end, it shows you how complicated sexuality is. In the end, she discovers herself finally as the gay man she wanted to be all along. Which to me is like, wow. I mean, come on now. That just proves, like, it's so individual. Yeah.

29:33 And it's so still evolving that this thing, sexuality, you can't put a finger on it. You can't. Well, you can't, but figuratively. But it's um. It's so complicated and we're still trying to box it. We're still trying to package it and still trying to sell the public on what it is and isn't, what it should mean and what it shouldn't mean. Yeah. And it's kind of like, it's the one place where I feel like when it comes to authority, it's like, keep your fucking business, you know. Absolutely. Take it somewhere else and get the hell out of my bed. Yeah. Get the hell out of my bedroom. well i think i think you um you kind of answered your own question you know in terms of like what um like what are because the questions like what are these hetero guys doing there and that's because sexuality is not um, like i just don't believe that it's binary you know um, hold for thought hold for thought because i had something i was just very interested invested in what you were you were saying like i can't really speak to like the trans experience right but i understand what you're saying in terms of like, it's just evidence that um.

30:48 The idea of putting sexuality in a box, I think for one, it just makes the world make sense for people, you know, because we kind of do that or try to do that naturally with everything. Yes. But being sexual is kind of, I mean, it is like the fabric of the human experience because like depending on what you believe or who you talk to, I mean, regardless, it's like really the only thing we're here to do is like fuck and then die. You know like on a very biological level i don't believe that is all that life is but um it was at some point yeah in an engineering sense that's really all we're meant yeah um physically to do um, so of course that like just because there's so many shades of humanity there there is a million billion shades of sexuality so i think that is you know i'm just trying to paraphrase or like analyze what you said, but that is why they're straight dudes going in there.

31:45 They just want to get their toes curled, you know, because, but they have shame about who is, Who's doing the thing, right? And that stuff that is social and learned. Yes. Learned. Which is why the glory hole, I think, exists. It's because it allows you that you don't have to deal with the person performing the act. Yeah. You don't have to look at them. And you're free to imagine something totally different, a different scenario on the other side of that wall. Absolutely. Which is freeing. It was a brilliant move, that thing called. Well, so that actually just made me think. I wonder what the history of the glory hole is because like, did it begin with bathroom stalls? Is that the beginning of a glory hole? That was definitely a revolution. Yes. That definitely was like the iPhone of glory holes. Yeah. Was having a stalls. Well, okay.

32:33 It's interesting. I don't know. I know some of it because I've done a little research. Okay. But I know like, like the Romans were doing this shit, right? They had to have been the Greeks or the Romans. They definitely had walls. You could just stick your dick in. Yeah, for sure. They were pervs. I mean, they had phallic symbols all over cities and stuff like that. They're hugely— Well, they weren't, like, homophobic in the modern sense either. Right. But it was a role thing. If you were a submissive, you were ranked lower than others. For instance, if you were a soldier and you had your submissive, that would accompany you into battle and carry your gear, basically, and get you set up.

33:16 You know what I mean? cook your meals, feed you, all that kind of stuff. But the submissive would be a male that you would take with you on the warpath. And then they had their big, huge parties. Yeah, you'd be fucking. Yeah, and that was the show. The show would be to find the biggest, beefiest motherfucker you could. Seriously, put him in the middle of the room with another guy who had the biggest schlong in the world, and everybody would sit around, you know, eating and drinking and commenting on, How is he taking that? That's, you know, and laughing and like it was everyday normal. And then also, there was a period, which I speak of a lot, in history when God was a female viewed around the world.

34:01 And it was believed that during those times, priestesses in temples would meet with you in order to help you have a spiritual experience, right? And the most—for the primary spiritual experience would have been an orgasm. So, in essence, you were going into a temple for this priestess to help you reach orgasm because that brought you closer to the deity. And we now call those brothels. But back in the day, they were considered sacred spaces. And the people in them and what they were doing was considered sacred work. And they were viewed as pillars of the community.

34:44 You know what I mean? Yeah. So a lot has changed in our view of it's. Yeah. You know, well, the only, I was going to say the only thing that's really changed is, um. Is the the social constructs from each time period you know because i was just talking to my partner about this recently because uh, i was like you know fucking has been the same since forever it's like kind of crazy to think about it's like you do all these things that maybe you, saw somewhere i'm talking about like positions and things and costumes and yeah playing but like all of those or at least most of them it boils down to it's just yeah it's just stick it in and pumpy pump pump pump pump yeah until you squirt and and there's no way that like there's no one that like invented um, doggy you know like oh yeah no like we've been fucking the same and it's just weird to think about you know maybe picture victorian times or like caveman times caveman times your porno would have been watching the deer fucking out in the field you know what i'm saying, so you probably imitated that position you know what i'm saying i never thought about that because there's your porno right there absolutely you know and they're like oh okay let's try it that way yeah so and we they say that we were the first to do it face to face.

36:04 Because of our mammals at least yeah yeah so we invented missionary that's not surprising, it's not i don't know though i mean you'd have to go through every single known animal ever in the history of, the planet yeah and then and figure out if anatomically they could fit in that face-to-face position this is such a non-sequitur but dinosaurs are reptiles, Do reptiles do the thing? Do they put, like, genitals and genitals to fuck? Or is it, like, they lay the eggs and then they spray the eggs like chickens? You know what I mean? Oh. Because some animals, they lay eggs and then the dude jerks off on the eggs. Or the seahorse, she puts the eggs inside of his belly. Yeah.

36:47 And then he carries them. Yes. And there's slugs and they wrap their bodies around each other. Oh, I didn't know about that. There's whales and they have like well they have massive massive like like massive that they stick out like yeah it's like yep um, on youtube i have a video which explores the different ways creatures fornicate okay yes i call it bug porn okay and yes there's some people that are very happy about that being on youtube, oh yeah unrestricted yeah oh man but hey it's bugs it's nature what are you saying actually no when i was a kid i would read did you ever read cracked.com, uh it was a comedy website it's like somewhere is some like bastard cousin of like a mad magazine maybe wow but it was more like informative articles and actually a lot of the journalists who who contributed to cracked when i was reading it which is like.

37:45 2008 9 through like 13 have gone on to be like they write books and they're like established journalists now and very cool um but it was just like bullshit like top 10 lists back in the day, and um they were just like funnily it was like a comedy website, um and there was an article where i found like it was like about weird porn, and it had the uh spider lady in it and that image is still burned in my brain speaking of sex sex and porn and young age and it was a it was just a naked lady, posing but with like this photo realistic like it must have been like a helmet on it it's like a movie you know a fat like level effects of like a spider of, super realistic spider head like okay it was in like a spider like photograph really close to i don't think i don't think sexy here i don't think so i don't think but it was like a sexy lady body with the spider head and you know there were two paths for me at that moment, where one was where i was like i like this and one was where i am scarred by this, i was scarred by it has not ruined my life in any shape or form it's not really affected me but i do i do still remember exactly what that looks like in my head because it was very scary.

38:59 Okay so if the boobs are if the boobs are nice enough how weird how weird can can the creature become if the boobs are nice enough yeah it's It wouldn't take much weird for me, frankly. Because, like, you know. You won't go there with a. Yeah. And, you know, to deny my boob fetish a little bit, like the three-boob lady in Total Recall. Yeah. Not a fan. No, really? I don't really care, man. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Doesn't do anything for me. See, I know straight guys that thought that was super hot. Oh, yeah. They were like, more feeding there. Yeah. Yep. Okay. So, funny story. I have a friend who was lactating, you know, because she was, well, she was done being pregnant. so she was feeding.

39:39 And apparently the boobs can fill up so much with milk that they're so under pressure. Sorry, I don't know why that made me laugh. They're so under pressure. I shouldn't have been. It's like I'm like a five-year-old right now. But they're so under pressure that they become like almost hard-like. Yeah, I'm laughing that I'm laughing at that. And she said she could squeeze on them and shoot like 25 feet of stream. She said that— Ropes. Yeah, she said that the pressure was so great that when her babies would start feeding, They would almost choke to death on the milk because it was coming out in like a gun, like rapid fire. Right. And then she said she was trying to have sex with her husband. She's sitting on his thingy, you know, bouncing up and down.

40:21 And the milk is coming out so much that she's practically like drowning him. I swear to God. And he finally reached a point where he was like, honey, honey, honey, whoa, we got to stop. Whoa. Because she said he was him and the bed and everything was covered in milk. There are men that would be jerking off to this description right now. Really? Yes. There are some people that are really into that. Oh, wow. You just described their dream scenario. Yeah. Okay. That's cool. All right. That's crazy. That one got you, didn't it? Boom. Well, I started laughing about the fact that I was laughing at, you just said like milk and titties or something, and that set me on. And then I was laughing at my own immaturity. And then you described a woman drowning a baby.

41:05 Can you imagine apparently you can't imagine I'm hedging it a lot just now this is a big deal for a gay man to come up with a description of an event where a straight man is like dude that's hot oh it is? I didn't know to clarify that's not for me it's not? It's no like lactation? oh really? I don't think it's gross but I don't sexualize that if you're getting covered with the milk and everything would you be like honey stop or would you be like keep going you're doing good, You know, if it's someone I'm in love with, I'll probably be into it. You're right. But the only thing is that I recall her saying that he did not like the taste of it. Well, that's why I said that was my first thought. He said it was sickeningly sweet. Yeah, I've heard it's not very good. So then in that case, probably not.

41:48 You know, I just don't sexualize that part. And it's a very understandable thing to sexualize, I think, because it's so closely related to the whole fucking, you know. Yep. But I'm just saying that is 100% a fetish. and like, people would totally be into that yeah that is someone's dream scenario they just grab very cool, i think it's interesting i mean i'm i'm a gay man and i can still recognize nice boobies you know oh yeah when i see a girl with nice boobies i don't say anything because you know it's rude but yeah but part of me wants to go, honey you have a nice set of honkers there yeah what's your favorite boob word. What, you just said honkers? I say boobies. Boobies is fun. Boobies.

42:31 I just say boobies. Because it's fun. It rolls off the tongue, fun. Boobie, boobie, boobie. Yeah. You know, you can play with it. You can write a song and use it as lyrics. Hillary Clinton's favorite restaurant from growing up in the same town as me. Boobies. Boobies? Oh, there you go. It is really good also. Boobies is very good. Does this mean I have to don a polyester business suit? No, absolutely not. She's one of the worst people. I think I want to try one of those on, though. Sure. Yeah, it was like a uniform in every color. Well, it's just marketing. Yeah. All right. So we have to wrap this fucker up. I'll keep going. We just started talking about lactating. Lactating. Yeah. In conclusion, join us for our next episode. Where would we go after lactating?

43:13 After lactating? I don't know. We're flirting with piss and shit, I feel like at the moment. Oh, yeah. Which I'm very not into. Oh, God, no. Scat. Yeah. And I'm not talking the singing form. not the vocal no not the fun kind hoo doobie doobie doobie doobie boobie boobie oh no no no no it's low hanging fruit too far once again too far, alright goodnight everybody or wherever you are have a great day and um we'll see you later bye.